New texTs .. .
-How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
-So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
-Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
-Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
reply: he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
-my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
-I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
-i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
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